The Wrecking Crew



The Wrecking Crew did not giveth a shite. They came hard at a problem and solved it by force. Every problem was a Nail. And all they had were Hammers. Made up of who knows what kind of men from the south, they were able to bull their way around the Northern Marches spoiling for a fight, and always finding one. They documented nothing, they mapped nothing, they learned nothing, but they brought back cart loads of treasure to prove their way was the right way to tame the Marches.

The original lineup was made up of two fighting men, a roguish outsider, a holy man of dubious piety, and a flamboyant young wizard. The original lineup stayed intact til the end of their first trip through the Forstall Undercroft, which was their first adventure. The wizard never made it back to Javelin Hill. He was impaled at the bottom of a pit trap triggered by the last step out of the dunjon. The rest of the Crew took home enough loot to tear up town for three days straight, sleep for two weeks, reequip, find a new wizard, and head back out for adventure.

The Wrecking Crew never returned with a wizard from any of their jaunts into the wilderness. But they always returned with a mule or cart loaded with treasure. Buried alive, bludgeoned by a horde of kobolds, fileted by a troll, ripped in half by an etin, swallowed by an aboleth, vanishing into smoke in a lich lair, or immolated into a small globule by a cranky red dragon, no wizard survived a run with the Crew. The rest of the crew, while often hurt or sometimes maimed or even once one was resurrected, remained the same for its entirety.


And then, once they had amassed so much treasure they had to build Javelin Hill’s first bank to securely hold it, the Wrecking Crew simply gifted their adventuring gear to the Hammer and Anvil Mercantile, packed their wagons with loot, left the rest in the bank for the construction of defensive towers for Javelin Hill, and headed south, to live a dreamed of life of leisure amongst the gentile folk and civilized kingdoms.

            - Profiles in Courageousness

Comments